I Was the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Look Back.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is universally recognized as an iconic tough guy. Yet, in the midst of his cinematic dominance in the 1980s and 1990s, he also headlined several critically acclaimed comedies. Chief among them is Kindergarten Cop, which celebrates its 35th anniversary this holiday season.
The Role and An Iconic Moment
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger portrays a hardened detective who masquerades as a elementary educator to catch a killer. Throughout the film's runtime, the crime storyline functions as a simple backdrop for Arnold to have charming scenes with children. The most unforgettable involves a child named Joseph, who unprompted announces and declares the stoic star, “Boys have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger deadpans, “Thanks for the tip.”
The young actor was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. Beyond this role included a recurring role on Full House playing the antagonist to the Olsen twins and the pivotal role of the child who returns in the 1989 adaptation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with multiple films in development. He also frequently attends popular culture events. Recently recalled his recollections from the set of Kindergarten Cop after all this time.
Behind the Scenes
Question: Starting off, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the most junior of all the kids on set.
Wow, I can't remember being four. Do you retain any flashes from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like picture memories.
Do you recall how you got the part in Kindergarten Cop?
My mother, mainly would bring me to auditions. Frequently it was like a cattle call. There'd be dozens of children and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there for a very short time, read a small part they wanted and that's all. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, as soon as I could read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your take on him?
He was extremely gentle. He was playful. He was good-natured, which I suppose stands to reason. It would have been odd if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a productive set. He was great to work with.
“It'd be weird if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom.”
I was aware he was a major movie star because I was told, but I had never really seen his movies. I sensed the excitement — he was a big deal — but he wasn't scary to me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he had time. He was working hard, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would cling to his muscles. He'd show his strength and we'd be holding on. He was really, really generous. He bought every kid in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was the hottest tech. This was the hottest tech out there, that distinctive classic yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for a long time on that thing. It finally gave out. I also received a real silver whistle. He had the teacher's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your days on set as being fun?
You know, it's interesting, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a major production, and it was an incredible opportunity, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, visiting Astoria, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For instance, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was just released. That was the big craze, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would ask for my help to get past hard parts on games because I could do it, and I was quite pleased with myself. So, it's all little kid memories.
The Infamous Moment
OK, the infamous quote, do you remember anything about it? Did you know what you were saying?
At the time, I probably didn't know what the word shocking meant, but I knew it was provocative and it made adults laugh. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given special permission in this case because it was comedic.
“It was a difficult decision for her.”
How it was conceived, based on what I was told, was they didn't have specific roles. Some character lines were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't necessarily improv, but they worked on it while filming and, I suppose the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "We have an idea. We want Miko to have this line. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I'll decide tomorrow" and took some time. It was a tough call for her. She said she was hesitant, but she believed it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and history proved her correct.